The first thing I always tell any writer I work with is, “Please remember, at the end of the day, it’s your book. Everything marked-up in the manuscript is a recommended change. That’s what you’re paying me for. If you don’t agree with it, don’t approve the change. The final decision is totally up to you.”
I am also an author and I’ve had those edits where the editor runs roughshod over my voice. An edit that seems to want the book to reflect their style and their voice. I’d prefer the editor work to enhance my voice and my style while helping the manuscript to be the best it can be.
I think of it as “empathetic editing.” I have been where you are now, with a great idea for a novel but needed help to develop the story. I’ve had a completed manuscript that needs a good, tough edit that doesn’t make me feel like my writing sucks. I’ve needed a second pair of eyes on my manuscript because I’ve read it so many times, I’m not seeing the mistakes anymore. And, of course, for those typos that like to hide until the moment after you hit “Publish.”
That’s how I would want my editor to work with me. I’d also want my editor to be happy to shoot emails back and forth discussing proposed changes. I’d like help to brainstorm possible solutions to story issues, and even get a quick once-over on the changes before wrapping everything up.
That’s pretty much it, except to say this: I do this for a living. It’s how I pay my mortgage, it’s how I pay for groceries. It’s in both our best interests that I make you happy with the job I’ve done. Because not only do I want to edit your book, I also want to edit your next book, and the book after that.