Last week, a writer/editor friend of mine was lamenting the dearth of good dialogue. The manuscript he was editing tried to rely on whispering, drawling, barking and screeching to shore up the stilted, generic, and unrealistic dialogue.
Never a good idea.
There are two aspects to all of this: Good dialogue and dialogue tags.
Dialogue tags are the words used to indicate who’s speaking in a scene — usually simple verbs like “said” or “asked.” Their job isn’t to stand out, but to keep the conversation clear without distracting from the dialogue itself.
For the most part, if you’ve got good dialogue, you need very few dialogue tags, especially if the conversation is only between two people.
If your scene has three or more people, you might need a few more dialogue tags, but don’t overdo it. If you have to use them, “said” is more than adequate in almost all situations.
“Is that your motorbike parked on my lawn?” Bob asked.
You don’t need “asked.” There’s a question mark at the end of Bob’s dialogue. But, it’s a pretty flat question. Maybe you want to add some emotion to the dialogue.
“Is that your motorbike parked on my lawn?” Bob snarled.
Surely, that dialogue tag can stay. Right? Well, there’s a better way:
“Is that your damn motorbike parked on my lawn?”
Or;
“Didn’t I tell you not to park your damn motorbike on my lawn?”
If you must ensure the reader knows who said this, how about starting with an action?
Bob threw open the front door and leveled a finger at Thomas. “The next time you park that damn motorbike on my lawn, I’m going to run over it.”
I think that pretty much covers dialogue tags. Now, how about dialogue itself. How do you write good dialogue?
It’s important to remember a couple things. First, good dialogue should not replicate actual human speech. Most people put too many ums and uhs into what they say, along with lots of half-sentences and unfinished thoughts. Dialogue should resemble human speech, without all the dead ends.
Second, good dialogue has a job. It should either convey information or characterization, or it should advance the plot. Really good dialogue should do two or even all three of those things.
At the same time, so much of what people say is expressed by body language and gestures. Many new writers think they must convey everything solely with dialogue and that’s just not the case.
Here’s an example from one of my own books, Saving Grace: Thomas Billings has just answered the door after hearing the doorbell while in the shower, lathering himself up.
She looked him up and down, unable to prevent a small grin.
Thomas clenched the fist holding the corners of the towel at his waist. “Lizzy,” he said. He always answered the door in this state.
“I think you mean Madam Vice-President-elect,” Jackson muttered.
Thomas’ gaze remained fixed on Lizzy. “Hope you don’t expect me to kiss your ring.”
“Jesus,” Jackson started.
Lizzy held up a hand. “It’s okay, Jackson.” She glanced at him. “Can you give us a minute?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jackson nodded and walked back to the idling motorcade.
Lizzy stepped forward, an envelope in her hand and kissed him on the cheek, careful not to get her suit wet. Thomas held his position and stared at her as she pulled back.
Same perfume.
“How are you, Tee-tee?”
“Agent Billings.”
“It’s been too long.”
“At least one Presidential campaign.”
“Yes, and we won.”
That doesn’t mean you made the right choice.
Thomas pressed his lips together in a tight line. “What do you want?”
She flicked the envelope in front of his face. “Just needed to drop this off.”
He continued to stare at her as she held the envelope out to him.
“We’ll expect you at five o’clock. You’ll need this to get in.” She shoved the envelope toward him.
“We?”
“The President-elect and myself. Just a few friends for drinks and dinner.”
He reached up and cautiously took the end of the envelope and tugged it out of her hand. “Why invite me?”
She shrugged. “Protocol, mostly. I guess you’ll find out when you get there.”
“If I get there.”
She shook her head. “There is no if. Your soon-to-be Commander-in-Chief requires your presence tomorrow night,” she snapped and tugged at the bottom her suit coat. “You will be there, Agent Billings.”
See what you can infer just from this exchange between Thomas and Lizzy.
Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts.